My personality type is an ENTJ(Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging). For those of you who haven't taken the Myers Briggs I am what they call "the executive." Taking the trait as an executive my "primary mode of living is focused externally, where you [I] deal with things rationally and logically. My secondary mode is internal, where [I] take things in primarily via [my] intuition."As a personality junkie I feed off of learning about people and their personality traits and flaws. I, however always forgetful that I have a huge flaw placed in front of me which is I have a big fat J on the end of my personality type; this means that I am a judgmental individual.
It occurred to me on several occasions that I am very judgmental. Due to time I will tell you my most important aha moments of judging...
1) Attending College: I was a very angry person in college. I shunned everyone I knew from my old life and I tried to start a new, this created some personal problems during college. I began to judge people left and right. I thought of myself as a "straight-shooter";I called things like I saw them. In many class discussions I became the devil's advocate. I made people mad. I enjoyed watching people get emotional over the comments I made.
Looking back the reason why I told things "bluntly", is because I went through an identity crisis in high school and I could never express my feelings as a person until I turned 20. I used all of my emotions to get "back" at people who had the similar personality of my foes from my past. I had a fat chip on my shoulder. This chip made many people dislike me and and the end of college my same judgmental finger ended up being pointed at me.
2) Teaching: Since I moved to Mississippi, I have been incredibly judgmental. My judgement button is on maximum mode. I have hurt many people in my life, but I fear that the people that I have judged the most is living in desolate locations- mentally and physically. I haven't suspended any judgments, in fact I have made more judgments on my community, my friends, and most importantly my students. I have failed at being humble. Instead I have become a negative individual.
The reality is that I need to make a lot of changes for me next year.
Sorry Sufjan.
No comments:
Post a Comment